Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Virgins and Uncle Monroe

                          Virgins and Uncle Monroe

                It's 40 degrees here and I had nothing to do with it. Early man would go sacrifice a virgin if the weather got bad. At least it showed the morality of virgins, to  sacrifice the most innocent of all. I never heard about the moral leaders say, "The weather is bad and the weather Gods are fuming mad, let's go sacrifice another drunk". Another good thing about drinking red wine, you never got chased down and slung  into a volcano. All this to show that bad morals do not cause bad weather, only lying about your flowers fertility can cause that. How do you like how I did that. One point and I get to herbicide Freehand. I doubt infertility would last millions of years in the environment. Remember the old ads about Messing with Mother Nature. If I had to guess about it, I feel sure our messing with the genes of flowers (Converting) could get her all riled up.   

Twenty something years ago when all I had was dips, I don't remember this being such a problem. I have some infertile tets now  and they don't wake up one morning and decide to change their vile behavior. They will play games and abort, can't stand that either. Once a low life always a low life.

                I had an Uncle Monroe who was a town drunk and his wife Aunt Rachel was constantly trying to pay someone to go throw Uncle Monroe in a volcano. We didn't have any volcanoes here in Mississippi, that turned out to be his salvation I suppose. On his tombstone it reads, "Lived to be 95, thanks to lack of volcanoes in Mississippi". My Daddy said the reason Uncle Monroe lived so long was that evil germs refused to lower their standards to the point of living inside of him. I heard that as a child and gave me a lot to think about all my life. It sure  could explain a lot about myself. Even today folks walk by his grave and scratch their heads. I feel sure our lack of volcanoes has been beneficial to me as long as Joyce and I have been married. I didn't mean to tell yawl all this family history, it got started and I couldn't shut up.