Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Fly Zippers

        I'm sort of an inventor by trade, I like to claim anyway. I am now working on a device that will zip up the fly in my overalls, when I forget automatically.  As you get older you remember less. My wife tells me the less I remember of my past, the better I should feel, mentally. The biggest problem, which I feel sure I will solve, is keeping it from zipping up when I'm not quite ready. This could put the Trial Lawyers after me, so I will hold off putting it on the market until the bugs are worked out. I could put a box of band aids in the pocket I suppose. I told a lady over at Lowe's about my idea, she said she felt sure that Lowe's will gladly buy me some as quick as they hit the market. I figure it's just Lowe's way of showing me their appreciation for me buying most of their stuff. I ride a scooter around town and I find my memory is much better in the winter. I stop most times within a block of the house to zip up. My wife told me she could not sleep at night worrying about somebody running over me on my scooter. I showed her all the accidental death insurance I carry at my Credit Union. She's sleeping much better, sometimes till dinner. Memory being better in the cold, I suppose Eskimos rarely ever lose anything they can't find. If you live in a igloo I guess things just show up better. I lose most of what I buy at Lowe's, so I buy spares of everything. I was telling my Paw about my zipping-up problem. He said it will only get worse, he said most of the time now he forgets to zip down. He lived to be 97 and could remember anything, he said I took after my Mama. My Grandpaw got knocked in the head for messing with another man's wife, he barely made 95, he was a dashing rascal I'm told.

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